“I am the light of
How one woman overcame her addictions and became . . . happy!
I always wished I was someone else. I hated the way I was: insecure, fearful, not “cool.” I expressed my lack of happiness in overeating, throwing up, and by starving myself.
Nothing really could help me out of those self-destructive habits. They seemed to be stronger than myself. I thought I wanted it more than anything else.
I felt safe in having a secret life because I knew I could not let my feelings of hopelessness out. I always had to pretend. And the food helped me enormously with that.
One day I could not do it anymore. I found out about Overeaters Anonymous. It was my first miracle.
I learned to give my life and my will over to the care of God. It was incredible to experience the support of God and the group.
But I still did not like me….and I did not stop messing around with food. So there I was again at the point where I did not want to stand. Desperate and not happy with my life. I asked for help, “Please, God, help me.” And He did.
Somebody told me about the book A Course in Miracles and about the Endeavor Academy. Everything I ever asked, thought, and experienced was written and explained in this book.
My fears, hopes, secrets were all exposed. And it offered me an immediate solution: I did not have to be me anymore!!! I could give that whole idea to the Holy Spirit. His promise is: to show me who I really am. I am the light of the world.
I was so relieved. Finally I could let myself be who I was in every given moment. I started feeling happy for no reason at all. God had a plan for me. I was something completely different than I always allowed myself to be.
I had been given an alternative not from this world. A brand new way of living. I could change my mind about everything.
Suddenly my life became an adventure. The food problem literally vanished by the grace of God. I would still go to the toilet to vomit, but I would find myself there in a blaze of light. Soon I could not do it anymore and I had the help of my brothers to start feeling comfortable in this new life called joy and happiness. Thank you, Jesus.