“I am the light of
the world”

 How one woman overcame her addictions and became . . .  happy!


I always wished I was someone else.  I hated the way I was: insecure, fearful, not “cool.” I expressed my lack of happiness in overeating, throwing up, and by starving myself.   

Nothing really could help me out of those self-destructive habits.  They seemed to be stronger than myself.  I thought I wanted it more than anything else.  

I felt safe in having a secret life because I knew I could not let my feelings of hopelessness out.  I always had to pretend.  And the food helped me enormously with that.   

One day I could not do it anymore.  I found out about Overeaters Anonymous.  It was my first miracle.   

I learned to give my life and my will over to the care of God.  It was incredible to experience the support of God and the group.   

But I still did not like me….and I did not stop messing around with food.  So there I was again at the point where I did not want to stand.  Desperate and not happy with my life.  I asked for help, “Please, God, help me.”  And He did.   

Somebody told me about the book A Course in Miracles and about the Endeavor Academy.  Everything I ever asked, thought, and experienced was written and explained in this book.   

My fears, hopes, secrets were all exposed.  And it offered me an immediate solution: I did not have to be me anymore!!!  I could give that whole idea to the Holy Spirit.  His promise is: to show me who I really am. I am the light of the world. 

I was so relieved.  Finally I could let myself be who I was in every given moment.  I started feeling happy for no reason at all.  God had a plan for me.  I was something completely different than I always allowed myself to be.   

I had been given an alternative not from this world.  A brand new way of living.  I could change my mind about everything.   

Suddenly my life became an adventure.  The food problem literally vanished by the grace of God.  I would still go to the toilet to vomit, but I would find myself there in a blaze of light.  Soon I could not do it anymore and I had the help of my brothers to start feeling comfortable in this new life called joy and happiness.  Thank you, Jesus.         


Mariella School, Holland

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